The Greek Gods

First there was Chaos. It was all a big mess. Gaiathat because he stole her babies Gaia was
was a flaky hippie in most people's eyes but shejustified in sending Cronos, the youngest Titan to
tried her best. Both her sons had clean sandalschop daddy's knackers off and chuck them in the
and never wanted for a glass of ambrosia.Med.
Nonetheless, things were difficult for the firstBut of course these family jewels had belonged
gods. Gaias first born boy Tartarus was wearingto a God, so a billion sperm entered the sea,
far too much black and never cleaned up hislooking for a suitable place to rest. One found the
bedroom and his little brother Eros was mopingwest wind and as it approached Cyprus, the fresh
around the house sighing and looking annoyinglynew Goddess Aphrodite sprang ashore, looking
wistful; patently he in love again. Being a singlefantastic with flowers blooming all around her and
mother on Mount Olympus was hard work anda wispy bit of cloth to tastefully hide a little of her
Gaia missed grown up company.nakedness... but not too much.
Later that day she noticed the heavenly Uranus,Back at home up on Olympus things had not
with his strong, straight nose, golden flowing locksimproved. Since Cronos did the dirty on his dad,
of hair and really tight Levis mowing the lawn. Hehe had got ideas above his station and had taken
was a quiet one, but he did look amazing and fora shine to his own sister Rhea who was now the
Gaia feelings stirred.mother of a whole new set of gods. However
Ok, that was another bad mistake. Never sleepCronos was a man with appetites and ate the
with a hyper-fertile God. Shouldn't someone havekids, swallowing them whole. Rhea hid little Zeus
warned her? 12 new kids to look after. Thebefore Daddy could swallow him and when he
Titans! a whole soccer team of proto gods withgrew up he challenged his horrid father. "Dad,
full nappies and... what was that stirring inside. Yefancy an arm wrestle?" he asked. Quite why an
Gods not more babies. This next lot were an uglyarm wrestle was considered a good way of
bunch. Cyclopses with faces only a mother couldgetting rid of your mass murdering incestuous
love, and love them she did.rapist father has been lost in the mists of time.
Uranus, on the other hand, couldn't even look atAnyway to cut a long story short, Zeus freed
his new babies, the cyclopses, and one night heanyone who could be freed, killed anyone who
took them away and hid them in a cave. Thatshould have been killed and sat himself at the top
was hardly a fine example of good parenting andof the table in the Mount Olympus town hall. And
now Gaia snapped. The case for the defense wasthat is how it happened.