| Today's topic, ladies and gentleman, is:
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| | A clock, for those of you who don't know,
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| Time. We're going to talk about time
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| | is defined by The American Heritage
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| today because I never seem to have enough
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| | Dictionary of the English Language
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| of it. And I figure that if I dedicate a
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| | as...Wait a second! Let's not even go
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| whole column to the subject of time and
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| | there. We're already pretty confused as
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| stress some of it's finer points, then
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| | it is. Let's just all agree that a clock
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| perhaps Father Time will show his
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| | is a device that has lots of numbers and
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| appreciation by granting me a few extra
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| | two arms and makes it's living by
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| hours each day. This will allow me to be
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| | juggling minutes and seconds.
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| able to complete a couple more important
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| | I feel the extreme need to insert a time
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| tasks each day such as hitting the
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| | cliche here. This cliche makes absolutely
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| 'Snooze' button on my alarm clock at
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| | no sense whatsoever and probably has
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| least 15 more times each morning. And
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| | pagan, barbaric origins, but I think it
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| speaking of snoozing, there will be none
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| | summarizes what we've learned thus far in
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| of that during today's lesson which will
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| | our discussion. So here goes our first
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| begin right now:
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| | time cliche 'A stitch in time saves
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| Time is defined by the The American
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| | nine'. And now back to the show.
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| Heritage Dictionary of the English
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| | There have been numerous different kinds
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| Language as: 'A nonspatial continuum in
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| | of clocks throughout history. Many of
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| which events occur in apparently
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| | them made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
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| irreversible succession from the past
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| | A good example of this is the ancient
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| through the present to the future.' This
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| | Egyptian water clock, which was basically
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| definition leads us to the obvious
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| | just a bowl with a hole in the bottom of
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| question: If a definition contains 20
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| | it. There were markings on the inside of
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| word, 5 of which contain 10 or more
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| | the bowl that measured the passage of
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| letters, and it still doesn't make much
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| | 'hours' as the water level reached them.
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| sense, isn't it time to get another
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| | One of the obvious problems with this
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| dictionary?
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| | clock was the fact that whenever
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| Of course, dictionaries aren't the only
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| | working-class Egyptians wanted to get off
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| people who have trouble with time. The
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| | work early they would keep taking little
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| ancient Mayans, for example, struggled to
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| | sips of water from the bowl/clock
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| understand time for centuries and never
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| | throughout the day. This was one of the
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| got it quite right. One look at their
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| | reasons it took so long to finish the
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| calender clues you in to this fact. The
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| | Pyramids.That and the lack of power
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| Mayan calender had 18 months, one of
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| | tools.
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| which was called ChikChan (short for
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| | Time doesn't permit us to talk about the
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| May), and each month had 20 days. There
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| | other types of ancient clocks like
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| was even one month, Wayeb, that had only
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| | obelisks, sundials, and hemicycles. And
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| 5 days. As you can imagine, this horribly
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| | there definitely isn't time to go into
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| inaccurate calender made scheduling
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| | merkhets.
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| important events like the Super Bowl next
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| | Speaking of merkhets, a close cousin of
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| to impossible. It also left them wide
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| | the clock is the watch. The watch is the
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| open to insults from other ancient
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| | time-telling device that most of us use
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| civilizations, like the Sumerians for
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| | today. We do not however, use it to tell
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| example, who had fairly accurate
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| | time. We use it to do numerous other
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| calenders.
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| | tasks that watch manufacturers have
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| The Sumerian calender had 365 days per
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| | incorporated into watches like instant
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| year and even incorporated a leap year.
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| | messaging, reading email, and fast
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| Sadly, there was no Presidents Day,
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| | forwarding the DVD player. There's even a
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| Martin Luther King Day, or Arbor Day
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| | new watch on the market that comes equip
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| incorporated into the Sumerian calender
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| | with a radiation detector. And you
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| which is why the Sumerian civilization
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| | laughed at the Eyptians for drinking from
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| was eventually wiped out. Such flagrant
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| | their time-telling devices.
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| calender discrimination, even in the Dark
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| | Obviously, time is not something that can
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| Ages, could not be tolerated.
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| | be explained in just one lesson. There's
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| Since we have covered all pertinent
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| | a ton of more interesting stuff we could
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| information available about calenders, I
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| | go into about time but, frankly, I don't
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| think it's high time we expand our
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| | feel like taking the time to look it up
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| understanding of time by discussing
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| | right now. I believe I've achieved my
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| another mechanism by which we mortals
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| | goal of using as many time cliches as I
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| judge the passing of it. But first, does
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| | possibly could in one article and now, I
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| anyone know where the phrase 'high time'
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| | think it's time to call an extended
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| comes from? Is there such a thing as 'low
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| | timeout on this whole time subject. I'm
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| time'. Feel free to ponder these
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| | sure when I do write the follow-up to
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| questions quietly as we move on to
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| | this article that it will be just in the
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| discussing: The Clock.
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| | nick of time.
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