The Art of Communicating

Good communication is as stimulating as blackthat the degree of understanding could be rated
coffeeon a scale from very well understood to
and just as hard to sleep after.completely misunderstood. And anyone who says
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, 'Gift from the Sea'The"I understand perfectly" is probably deceiving
word communicate comes from the latinthemselves.G. FeedbackFeedback in our model are
communis or common. We speak of a commonthe reactions of the receiver that are being
room that everyone shares or a universitycommunicated back to the sender. Feedback
commons where everyone shares the space. Itcauses the sender to modify his message to
indicates that two people or two groups haveincrease the chances of its being understood by
something shared in common but in our worldthe receiver. Each of us has experienced the
today I maintain that there is nothing commonfeeling "they don't have a clue about what I'm
about communication. Many of the world'strying to say". How did we reach this conclusion?
problems and disputes can be traced to poorBy interpreting the feedback the receiver is
communication.The dictionary definesgenerating. This feedback can be verbal or
communication as the transmission of information,nonverbal.H. Communication blocked by noiseThe
thought or feeling so that it is satisfactorilyfactor of "noise" may occur anywhere along the
received or understood. As a working definitioncommunication line, and it may be physical,
we'll consider that communication has beenphysiological, or psychological in nature.
successful if there is shared understandingWilliam Brooks
between those trying to communicate.So what is"Speech Communication"When using radio to
the result of shared understanding? What are thecommunicate, the static sometimes is so strong
implications of a lack of shared understanding?that the message is lost. Communication theorists
Does shared understanding guarantee acceptance,call this kind of interruption during communication
openness and trust between people and groups?I"noise". For our purposes noise is any part of the
maintain that while good communication doesn'tcommunication process that diminishes shared
guarantee our lives will be enhanced, poorunderstanding. Noise can be found in any part of
communication will make bad situations worse andour model. The sender can have poor
make it difficult to have and maintain open, usefulcommunication skills. The receiver may be unable
relationships in life.The outcome, then, ofto receive the message for a variety of reasons.
successful communication should be to increaseThe channels they use to communicate may be
understanding and thereby improve relationships -inappropriate for the situation. Feedback may be
and who doesn't need improvedmisinterpreted or ignored.As we continue we will
relationships?Families, co-workers, governments allexamine noise factors that decrease shared
need better communication. So let's examine whatunderstanding and ways of eliminating or reducing
happens when we communicate, where thethe noise so that communication has a better
problems lie, and what we can each do tochance.II. Temperament and
improve our communication skills.I. The pieces ofCommunicationTemperament comes from the
the communication processCommunication is aLatin tem perave, which means to mix. It relates
two-way street, and people tend to structureto the fact that we are each a unique mixture of
their phrases along well-traveled linguistic routes topersonality traits - background, intelligence,
optimize thier chances of being understood.feelings, education, culture and on and on. It
--Christopher Manning,seems obvious but your temperament impacts
Stanford UniversityCommunication is a process;your communication style.A. What is
that is, it has definable steps that can betemperament?Temperament can also be called
examined. We will look at communicating as apersonality type and incorporates self-image or
cycle going round and round unendingly.self-esteem.
Remember, however, that examining theWe'll talk more about self-image later but now
communication process is like putting your VCRwe'll focus on our "natural" temperament or
on pause; you look at a frozen snapshot of apersonality that we inherit along with our eye
dynamic, unending process. It's often been saidcolor and body type. The ancients thought that
that one cannot not communicate unless you'retemperament was caused by the mixture of
dead or unconscious; communication takes place -certain bodily fluids called humours.B. The four
for bad or for good - when we're trying andtypesWhy four? Why not 104? Over the
when we're not.A. SenderThe sender hascenturies, through observation and study, it has
something he wants to share with someone else.been determined that each of us is a blend of
In our simplified model, the sender is the personfour distinct personality types - and more
communicating. Unfortunately the sender'sspecifically we are usually a blend of two of the
information is in his mind. While much work hasfour types. Who wrote this rule? How do we
been done on trying to prove ESP, for most ofknow it's true? Again the evidence is mostly
us we've got to get the information we want toempirical or by experience though the underlying
share out of our mind and into the other person'sconcepts come from the work of Carl Jung.For
mind by other means.B. ReceiverThe receiver isour purposes, we'll use the ancient Greek
just that - the other person or persons that thenomenclature for temperament types - Choleric,
sender is trying to communicate with. What we'llPhlegmatic, Sanguine, and Melancholy. These are
find is that the receiver has some obstacles in thecertainly only one way of discussing the four -
way that will affect whether shared understandingother models use the names of animals, the
is achieved or not. While the sender has theacronym DiSC, and the most famous - the
responsibility to craft a clear message, theMeyers-Briggs naming system.Temperament
receiver has additional responsibilities of hearing,strongly affects communication style. But so does
listening, and providing feedback.C. A messageTheour cultural background, so does our educational
message is not just some words. The message isexperience. The point is that temperament is only
a rich combination of thoughts, feelings, words,one part of our communication style.The choleric
and meanings. Even a sender that says, "it'stype is sometimes called the Driver. A choleric
simple", doesn't realize the blended nature of theperson is goal-oriented, no-nonsense, hard-nosed
message they want to convey. Manyperson. They are extraverted, strong willed
communication problems stem from the idea thatpersons. You can spot a choleric by their
communication is simple.D. Some ways ofimpatient, action-oriented style.As regards
generating a signalSpeak clearly, if you speak atcommunicating, the choleric gets straight to the
all; carve every wordpoint and is not much concerned with the feelings
before you let it fall.of others. They say what they mean and it can
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1809 - 1894)The signaloften be pointed and critical.The sanguine
we are speaking of is how we encode thetemperament is an outgoing, warm, people
message in our heads and broadcast it to theperson. They are talkers and are concerned with
receiver. We'll find that this includes more than thethe feelings of others. They are best when
sounds of words; it can include feelings, attitudes,meeting and greeting others. They are
and our unique personality. If you think about this,extraverted, warm, and enthusiastic.The sanguine
all communication is indirect in that we use theis loath to hurt others' feelings and will avoid
tools of language and nonverbal communication toconflict at almost any price. Their communication
attempt to share what we are experiencing insidestyle is outgoing and talkative. They will often
ourselves.E. A braintouch the person they are talking to.The
I would while away the hours,melancholy is highly organized, detailed, and critical.
Conversin' with the flowers . . .You can spot a melancholy by their organized
If I only had a brain. --desktop or workspace. They are introverted and
The Scarecrow in the Wizard of OZOur brainsoften moody. They dislike their anyone moving
are rich, complicated places. All communication istheir "stuff".As a communicator, the melancholy
filtered through our personality, our background,will be precise, detailed and critical. They often feel
our upbringing, our culture, and our current statethey are "right" because they have taken the
of being. When you are tired or stressed or intime to carefully analyze whatever subject they
circumstances that are unpleasant, communicationare talking about.The phlegmatic is the quietest of
becomes that much harder.F. Sharedthe four types. While generally calm on the
understandingSpeak properly, and in as fewsurface they are the most likely to be anxious
words as you can, but always plainly;internally when communicating.Again I want to
for the end of speech is not ostentation but toemphasize that no one is purely one
be understood.temperament type. Another presentation I do on
William PennWe return to our definition. Theunderstanding temperament goes into much more
degree to which someone understands what wedetail on the 16 combinations of personality
are trying to communicate will depend on manytraits.Everything that irritates us about others
factors. How much alike are we? Do we sharecan lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
any background experiences? Are our languageCarl Jung (1857-1961)In a nutshell, personality
skills, attitudes, beliefs similar or dissimilar? Whataffects communication because each style has a
assumptions have we made about each otherdifferent primary way of communicating.
based on stereotypes?It's probably fair to say