Discover the secrets of the Celts


The Art of Communicating

Good communication is as stimulating as blackabout each other based on stereotypes?It's
coffeeprobably fair to say that the degree of
understanding could be rated on a scale from
and  just  as  hard  to  sleep  after.very well understood to completely
misunderstood. And anyone who says "I
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, 'Gift from theunderstand perfectly" is probably deceiving
Sea'The word communicate comes from the latinthemselves.G. FeedbackFeedback in our model
communis or common. We speak of a commonare the reactions of the receiver that are
room that everyone shares or a universitybeing communicated back to the sender.
commons where everyone shares the space. ItFeedback causes the sender to modify his
indicates that two people or two groups havemessage to increase the chances of its being
something shared in common but in our worldunderstood by the receiver. Each of us has
today I maintain that there is nothing commonexperienced the feeling "they don't have a
about communication. Many of the world'sclue about what I'm trying to say". How did
problems and disputes can be traced to poorwe reach this conclusion? By interpreting
communication.The dictionary definesthe feedback the receiver is generating.
communication as the transmission ofThis feedback can be verbal or
information, thought or feeling so that it isnonverbal.H. Communication blocked by
satisfactorily received or understood. As anoiseThe factor of "noise" may occur anywhere
working definition we'll consider thatalong the communication line, and it may be
communication has been successful if there isphysical, physiological, or psychological in
shared understanding between those trying tonature.
communicate.So what is the result of shared
understanding? What are the implications ofWilliam  Brooks
a lack of shared understanding? Does shared
understanding guarantee acceptance, openness"Speech Communication"When using radio to
and trust between people and groups?Icommunicate, the static sometimes is so
maintain that while good communicationstrong that the message is lost.
doesn't guarantee our lives will be enhanced,Communication theorists call this kind of
poor communication will make bad situationsinterruption during communication "noise".
worse and make it difficult to have andFor our purposes noise is any part of the
maintain open, useful relationships incommunication process that diminishes shared
life.The outcome, then, of successfulunderstanding. Noise can be found in any
communication should be to increasepart of our model. The sender can have poor
understanding and thereby improvecommunication skills. The receiver may be
relationships - and who doesn't need improvedunable to receive the message for a variety
relationships?Families, co-workers,of reasons. The channels they use to
governments all need better communication.communicate may be inappropriate for the
So let's examine what happens when wesituation. Feedback may be misinterpreted or
communicate, where the problems lie, and whatignored.As we continue we will examine noise
we can each do to improve our communicationfactors that decrease shared understanding
skills.I. The pieces of the communicationand ways of eliminating or reducing the noise
processCommunication is a two-way street, andso that communication has a better
people tend to structure their phrases alongchance.II. Temperament and
well-traveled linguistic routes to optimizeCommunicationTemperament comes from the Latin
thier chances of being understood.tem perave, which means to mix. It relates
--Christopher  Manning,to the fact that we are each a unique mixture
of personality traits - background,
Stanford UniversityCommunication is aintelligence, feelings, education, culture
process; that is, it has definable steps thatand on and on. It seems obvious but your
can be examined. We will look attemperament impacts your communication
communicating as a cycle going round andstyle.A. What is temperament?Temperament can
round unendingly. Remember, however, thatalso be called personality type and
examining the communication process is likeincorporates  self-image  or  self-esteem.
putting your VCR on pause; you look at a
frozen snapshot of a dynamic, unendingWe'll talk more about self-image later but
process. It's often been said that onenow we'll focus on our "natural" temperament
cannot not communicate unless you're dead oror personality that we inherit along with our
unconscious; communication takes place - foreye color and body type. The ancients
bad or for good - when we're trying and whenthought that temperament was caused by the
we're not.A. SenderThe sender has somethingmixture of certain bodily fluids called
he wants to share with someone else. In ourhumours.B. The four typesWhy four? Why not
simplified model, the sender is the person104? Over the centuries, through observation
communicating. Unfortunately the sender'sand study, it has been determined that each
information is in his mind. While much workof us is a blend of four distinct personality
has been done on trying to prove ESP, fortypes - and more specifically we are usually
most of us we've got to get the informationa blend of two of the four types. Who wrote
we want to share out of our mind and into thethis rule? How do we know it's true? Again
other person's mind by otherthe evidence is mostly empirical or by
means.B. ReceiverThe receiver is just that -experience though the underlying concepts
the other person or persons that the sendercome from the work of Carl Jung.For our
is trying to communicate with. What we'llpurposes, we'll use the ancient Greek
find is that the receiver has some obstaclesnomenclature for temperament types -
in the way that will affect whether sharedCholeric, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and
understanding is achieved or not. While theMelancholy. These are certainly only one way
sender has the responsibility to craft aof discussing the four - other models use the
clear message, the receiver has additionalnames of animals, the acronym DiSC, and the
responsibilities of hearing, listening, andmost famous - the Meyers-Briggs naming
providing feedback.C. A messageThe message issystem.Temperament strongly affects
not just some words. The message is a richcommunication style. But so does our
combination of thoughts, feelings, words, andcultural background, so does our educational
meanings. Even a sender that says, "it'sexperience. The point is that temperament is
simple", doesn't realize the blended natureonly one part of our communication style.The
of the message they want to convey. Manycholeric type is sometimes called the Driver.
communication problems stem from the ideaA choleric person is goal-oriented,
that communication is simple.D. Some ways ofno-nonsense, hard-nosed person. They are
generating a signalSpeak clearly, if youextraverted, strong willed persons. You can
speak  at  all;  carve  every  wordspot a choleric by their impatient,
action-oriented style.As regards
before  you  let  it  fall.communicating, the choleric gets straight to
the point and is not much concerned with the
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1809 - 1894)Thefeelings of others. They say what they mean
signal we are speaking of is how we encodeand it can often be pointed and critical.The
the message in our heads and broadcast it tosanguine temperament is an outgoing, warm,
the receiver. We'll find that this includespeople person. They are talkers and are
more than the sounds of words; it can includeconcerned with the feelings of others. They
feelings, attitudes, and our uniqueare best when meeting and greeting others.
personality. If you think about this, allThey are extraverted, warm, and
communication is indirect in that we use theenthusiastic.The sanguine is loath to hurt
tools of language and nonverbal communicationothers' feelings and will avoid conflict at
to attempt to share what we are experiencingalmost any price. Their communication style
inside  ourselves.E.  A  brainis outgoing and talkative. They will often
touch the person they are talking to.The
I  would  while  away  the  hours,melancholy is highly organized, detailed, and
critical. You can spot a melancholy by their
Conversin'  with  the  flowers  .  .  .organized desktop or workspace. They are
introverted and often moody. They dislike
If  I  only  had  a  brain.  --their anyone moving their "stuff".As a
communicator, the melancholy will be precise,
The Scarecrow in the Wizard of OZOur brainsdetailed and critical. They often feel they
are rich, complicated places. Allare "right" because they have taken the time
communication is filtered through ourto carefully analyze whatever subject they
personality, our background, our upbringing,are talking about.The phlegmatic is the
our culture, and our current state of being.quietest of the four types. While generally
When you are tired or stressed or incalm on the surface they are the most likely
circumstances that are unpleasant,to be anxious internally when
communication becomes that muchcommunicating.Again I want to emphasize that
harder.F. Shared understandingSpeak properly,no one is purely one temperament type.
and in as few words as you can, but alwaysAnother presentation I do on understanding
plainly;temperament goes into much more detail on the
16 combinations of personality
for the end of speech is not ostentation buttraits.Everything that irritates us about
to  be  understood.others
William PennWe return to our definition.can lead us to an understanding of
The degree to which someone understands whatourselves.
we are trying to communicate will depend on
many factors. How much alike are we? Do weCarl Jung (1857-1961)In a nutshell,
share any background experiences? Are ourpersonality affects communication because
language skills, attitudes, beliefs similareach style has a different primary way of
or dissimilar? What assumptions have we madecommunicating.



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